Choosing your future self
How to say yes to what you say you want
A message notification flashed on my phone.
“Can you talk? I got them both.”
A friend of mine was recently interviewing for two different roles and having now received offers from both, she needed to make a decision.
The first was from a law firm. They were looking for someone to help launch a new office in another country and build up their practise.
The other - an in-house legal role at a tech start-up. Exactly the kind of role she’d been manifesting for the past year.
Looking at her message I wasn’t sure why it even needed to be discussed. To me it was a no-brainer that she’d take the in-house role. It was exactly what she’d said she wanted and covered all the big things on her list.
So why was she sounding so torn?
Not only that, when I asked her which one she was leaning towards, she said the role at the law firm.
My heart sank.
Immediately I realised it was no coincidence that both these roles came up at exactly the same time. It was a choice point.
Are you going to choose what you say you want? Or are you going to choose what feels comfortable? In another words, are you going to choose your future self or your past self.
Rationally of course we want to choose our future self. But the pull of safety back to our past selves is powerful. And worse. It’s usually subconscious.
Consciously we may feel very convicted about what we’re saying we want, whether it’s a new job or a habit change, but unless our subconscious mind is also on board, it’ll keep choosing for us from it’s old programming. Which for many of us is often fear, insecurity and unworthiness.
If your manifestation is a level up from the life you’re living now, then you have to make a level up internally in order to align the one externally. Of course the current version of you is going to struggle to choose the manifestation, because this version of you is the one that has created the experience right now that you’re living, and hating.
You have to choose from a different place. A different version of you.
I asked her to close her eyes and guided her through a relaxing breathing exercise and meditative visualisation so she could imagine how the two paths would play out over time. To listen to her future self.
After ten minutes or so she opened her eyes.
“I know which one I’m going to take,” she said.
“Yeah?” I replied.
“Yeah….the one at the start-up.”
The version of her on that pathway was happier, she looked free and her life looked how she craved it to. Watching it felt scary but exhilarating.
Without a doubt the other offer was the more stable and sensible choice of the two. The choice that most parents would want you to take.
The thing is, sometimes we think we want something until we’re faced with actually having it, and then you have to choose.
Which version of yourself are you going to say yes to?
Journal prompts:
Where in your life are you being tempted with opportunities to stay where you are?
If nothing changed and everything stayed the same in the area you’re manifesting, what would be your biggest regret?
Resource:
Deepen your connection with your future self with Debbie Millman’s “Ten-Year Plan for a Remarkable Life” writing exercise